Marriage For Young Igbo Intellectuals Championing The Return To Omenala na Odinala: An Advice For The Men and Women Of My Generation

My advice to young men championing the return to Odinala, Asusu Igbo, Omenala, Nka n’uzu, etc. is to not be in a haste to get married.

Let your Chi and Agwu guide you gradually to what your calling is. Experience your ups and downs on your own.

Set up your Ihu mmuo (altars) if you need to. Or be spiritually, mentally, and physically aligned with your spirit forces, if you are not the type to practice Odinala in your hometown.

Achieve your first breakthroughs, accompanied by your Chi, Agwu, Ndi Ichie, and Ora mmuo.

When you have properly set yourself on the stone which will be the foundation of your destiny and entire life, then you can find a woman who has also done the same for herself, or who is doing the same in the Igbo renaissance, and would need and cherish your companionship and leadership.

Don’t just fall for the attention you will get from ‘Fairweather’ ladies, who are attracted to the way you participate in and promote the Igbo Odinala, Asusu Igbo, Omenala, Nka n’uzu, without them doing the same thing. If you fall for their praises of your uniqueness, born from their infatuations, you will suffer the consequences later in marriage when they are hit with the deeper realities of your journey. Most likely, they would want to live a different life than what you want. Very few will want to be submissive and let you lead them, especially in this era of equality. She would tell you that her goals are different from yours, and for that the marriage will be headed in two directions at once, to crash sooner or later.

An example of my above admonition is the life and marriage of Chinua Achebe and his wife Chinwe Achebe.

Chinua Achebe is the father of African literature and is the greatest among every one of us who are in the field of the Igbo renaissance. He is known for his masterpiece, “Things Fall Apart”. He is the patron ancestor and originator of the campaign which we are all undertaking today.

His wife Chinwe Achebe is also a matron of the Igbo renaissance and is popular for her book “The World Of The Ogbanje”, a book which is a phenomenal guide in the practice and knowledge of Odinala.

These two, husband and wife, complement each other. But more so, because they carry the same fire and purpose for Ndi Igbo. If Chinua Achebe married a woman who was attracted to fame, sooner or later, during some of his tribulations, she would have absconded.

What makes our era more dangerous is that the women of their era had the patience to wait out a storm, but our modern women don’t. They will leave you and your Igbo Renaissance in a heartbeat.

So, nwannem, take your time. Don’t fall for the pressure of those pressuring you to get married, and start making babies. Because if you do, there will always be one sister around who is ready to be your wife, simply because you are popular, unique, and visionary. Only for you to cry “anya m anya m” sooner or later.

This message is also for my sisters who are in the field of the Igbo Renaissance. Be patient enough to meet a man on the same journey as you. Or else you risk the danger of marrying a rich man, who will initially praise you for your uniqueness in art, music, dance, Afa, etc. only to kill that aspect of you when you are under his roof. And if you insist on continuing promoting the return to Igbo Odinala na Omenala, you and he will divorce, and you will be back to being alone, and maybe with children, which portends more load on your hands.

Umu nnem, we are at war for the survival of the soul of our people, Ndi Igbo. It is a race that might last our whole lifetime. It is a cross we bear for our people. Marriage is a burden on its own, and I am advising that If you must get married, take your time to find the one on the same journey with you. And not just being on the same journey. Let their love for you be as firm as their love for the Igbo renaissance.

Dalu nu.

This Article Was Written By Chuka Nduneseokwu, Editor-In-Chief, Voice Of The Sun

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