Polygamy In Igbo Culture: Highlighting Its Benefits, And Why Modern Igbo Should Embrace This Unique Culture

Polygamy in Igbo culture, which is the marrying of more than one wife by a man, has become a very sensitive issue in Igbo society today. 

But the truth remains that Polygamy is an important part of Omenana (Igbo culture), and is well accepted and acknowledged by Ndi Igbo as a man’s legitimate right if he so chooses to have multiple women as mothers in his household.

This article will delve into the importance of polygamy in Igbo culture, while focusing on the dynamics and uses of polygamy in the past, among the ancient Igbo, and in today’s world. We will highlight the advantages and disadvantages of polygamy throughout our history as Ndi Igbo. 

The issue of polygamy in Igbo culture is one topic that makes society go haywire, dividing us into two, with one group detesting the very idea of it, while the other group praises polygamy as a worthy culture that must be upheld. 

On social media and in our society today, when a man talks about marrying more than one wife, women begin to protest. Many women go as far as insulting and cursing the man. These set of women call polygamy in Igbo culture evil and maintain that it is an oppression of women. Some men hold these same opinions about polygamy in the Igbo culture, but they are insignificant compared to the women who would curse a man for daring to take a second wife. 

These fierce reactions to polygamy in Igbo culture have now designated polygamy as a culture that should not be discussed, practiced, or promoted as a society, as a people. 

But the truth is that we can’t run away from this dynamic culture that made our society whole in the past, and even till the present. To fully understand the place of polygamy in Igbo culture, let us journey into the past, to see how our ancestors practiced this noble culture while showcasing its advantages in the Igbo worldview and society.

How Igbo Ancestors Practiced Polygamy

In the past, it was well-known among all our people, that a man had the right to marry more than one wife. Not only was it well-known, but also well accepted, among men, women, children, and the entire Igbo society. It was a welcomed and necessary culture. 

There were different ways polygamy was approached in the days of our ancestors. The first and most popular type was when the man needed to bring more wives into his household. Here the man who wanted to take another wife, simply tells his wife of his parents and extended family, and wife of his intentions to marry another wife. There is often no objection from the side of the old wife because it was a culture that had its place and was respected in our society.  

The second, and unique type of polygamy in Igbo culture, is where a woman marries another woman. The woman can decide to marry a wife for herself under her husband’s roof. Meaning that the new wife will bear her name, but the children will be fathered by her husband.

Another aspect of polygamy in the Igbo culture is where the husband and his wife agree that the family needs more wives and children, and they both make plans to get another wife. In this instance, the woman is allowed to choose whom she will love to be her co-wife. Most times, women went back to their kindred, or clan to choose relatives or friends. 

These various forms of polygamy were all welcomed across Igbo land, and in some regions, had slight differences. But the goal, for our ancestors, was to have a big family, where all were loved and respected.

The beauty of these above-mentioned forms of polygamy was that there was mutual and utmost respect among the women (except in a few cases where there were quarrels). There was a laid down hierarchy in the Igbo family structure, and everyone recognized and abided by it. The husband is the spiritual head of the family, who protects, provides, and directs the collective future of the family. While the first wife is the head of the wives and all the children in her husband’s household. In the absence of the husband, the first wife is the head of the entire family. The second, third, or fourth wives are under her leadership and also respect her. Everyone knew their place and respected it, because the goal was a larger family, and everyone worked towards that.

Each of the women married to a man had the day she cooked for him, and also the day she shared his bed. The women looked forward to this, as it was a sign of respect for their husbands. Also, this setting created a kind of subtle competition among the wives, which has each of them at their best, to please their husbands, and also be responsible towards the household. Except for cases where one or two of the wives are of dishonest and dubious character, none of the younger wives tries to displace the first wife, to take her place as the head of the household. 

An illustration of the respect given to a first wife was made in Chinua Achebe’s ‘Things Fall Apart’. In the iconic book, one of the wealthy men had nine wives and thirteen children. Okonkwo who was also considered wealthy and successful, had three wives and eight children. Out of Okonkwo’s three wives, the first wife was the oldest, and most respected. In a scene in the book, Okonkwo’s first wife, Nwoye’s mother, was absent when Okonkwo entertained some visitors. 

When Okonkwo had drank palm wine and wanted to give his wives to drink, the other wives could not take the drink, till the first wife had drunk from the cup. So, the other wives waited till Nwoye’s mother arrived and drank from the cup before they could. This was a generally accepted norm for families where they were more than one wife, and none of the women contested it, for it was a culture steeped in respect and hierarchy.

The first wife of an Igbo man is also the only one allowed to wear an anklet (Odu enyi, Igwe, or ola) that represents the Nze na Ozo titles her husband has taken. The other wives are not allowed to wear anklets, no matter how much they try to become the favorites of the husband. This utmost regard is reserved for the first wife because she was first chosen by her husband, and as such is important to him.

One unique way that Igbo people practiced polygamy in the past was that the husband built separate huts for each of his wives. So, there was no sharing of personal space for the co-wives. This made every wife an authority in her hut and kitchen, and also over her children. Building a hut (house) was easily affordable at the time because it was built by the man and his friends and kinsmen. The man had his hut. Each wife visits her husband’s hut when it was her time to share his bed or cook for him.

The Benefits Of Polygamy In Igbo Culture In The Past

Polygamy in Igbo culture was a noble venture that had/has its benefits to the Igbo society. The ancient Igbo were wise to create systems and cultures that secured the family, lineage, and brother community. One of these benefits of polygamy which secured the family, was the birthing of many children, by a man.  

A man who had a large family would eventually be wealthy in farming because he would have more wives, and children to contribute to the building of the family business, which was mainly agriculture. This wealth in turn secures the nuclear and extended family. 

Polygamy in the Igbo culture was adopted and practiced for both economic and social purposes. The sexual needs of the strong men of the time were also an integral aspect of having multiple women in the household. The ambition of most family heads (men) who practiced polygamy, was to continue to add to the number of his wives and children as he advanced in age and status. This way, another major benefit of polygamy for the Igbo society was wealth and a large family. Our ancestors understood the concept of Igwe bu ike, and as such wanted large families, for security and expansion of the lineage. 

Another important benefit of polygamy in the Igbo culture which is tied to the bearing of more children, was fighting the mortality rate of children at the time. Because of various biological or environmental circumstances, some children did not survive childbirth or childhood. Our history is dotted with stories of women who lost as must as 5 children, out of 10 she gave birth to in her lifetime. So, for such husbands, marrying multiple women who would bear him more children, often acted as a security to his ambitions of a large family and wealthy one.

The Benefits Of Polygamy In The Igbo Culture Today

Polygamy in Igbo culture today is not as popular or accepted as it was in the days of our forefathers. However, it is an important and intrinsic aspect of the Igbo culture which still has its benefits to this day. The major benefit of polygamy in the Igbo culture today, just like in the past, is children – having many children. In a society that is well planned, where all the children from a household have successful businesses, a man with more children would invariably have a wealthier family – and this family in turn creates the financial base for the next generation. Here, more children and wives lead to a larger family, and this secures the lineage, economically and socially.  

One other benefit of polygamy in today’s world is satisfying the sexual appetite of the man/husband, since it is evident biologically, that one woman cannot be sexually available in the 4 weeks of the month. A woman would most likely be free to have sexual intercourse with her husband in two-three weeks, out of 4 weeks of a month. And for men with high libido, a co-wife is needed to fill in the gaps. Even though we downplay the importance of sexual satisfaction for both sexes in a marriage, it is an integral and foundational aspect of marriage, whether monogamy or polygamy. 

The third vital importance of polygamy today is the need for women to chase their careers, rather than being “locked” in child birthing and nurturing all their youthful life. And this is most vital because we now live in a society where modern women want to build careers – careers that would take years away from their duties as a wife and mothers. Just like is the case with many women today, a woman after getting married, might want to seek equality with her husband, and as such would need to work for money and build her wealth. She might want 2 or 3 children, to enable her to fulfill her obligations to her career and business. Her husband might want 6 or more children. If not handled properly, these differences in the number of children in the family might cause quarrels between the man and his wife. And so, to allow such women to chase and build their careers, the man can go ahead to marry one or two other women to fulfill his goals of having more children and a large family. 

The concept of polygamy, as practiced by Ndi Igbo, is far better than the epidemic of divorce which our people have adopted from the Western cultures of the world. The Europeans (with their Western cultures) who colonized us, through Christianity, demonized and wrote off polygamy, saying that it was bad and oppressive. They hailed monogamy, the concept of “One man one wife” as the best approach to marriage. But these same Western cultures have no respect for the institution of marriage like we Ndi do. They are quick to divorce and remarry. And in the space of 20 years, most men and women from the United States and Europe have divorced and remarried 3-4 times. Some of them even get divorced in their old age, after having married multiple people and having birthed children with them. So, how then can such recklessness promoted under monogamy be said to be better than polygamy? Of course, it can’t be. The modern Igbo must do their best to revise the virtues of polygamy in the days of forefathers and use them to our advantage, where needed.

Polygamy is also way better than having multiple women outside by our men today. Instead of investing strength, resources, and time in multiple women outside of the home, men should marry own or two of those women into their household, invest their wealth and time into those wives, and in the long run, have large and prosperous families.

Polygamy creates stability in the Igbo society, through healthy competition among the wives. In these days when women hardly respect their husbands, for the excuse of “equality”, a man who has multiple wives would find peace and comfort in the hands of the second or their wife, if the first creates chaos for him, for instance.

The Igbo society today, despite our advancement in education, commerce, and social life, seems to be decaying at a rapid rate, with our moral, cultural, and spiritual values being eroded. Today we have many of our young women engaging in prostitution and all manner of social vices. These are young women who should be second, third, or fourth wives in their various homes. These are women who should be under the protection of their husbands, and contribute to the building of large and prosperous families for the Igbo nation. But are lonely, trapped in a vicious circle of sexual exploitation and devaluing of their pride as women. All for what? Because a European man came to tell us that marrying more than one wife was evil.

I strongly suggest that Igbo Men (who are capable) Should marry more than one wife to reduce the amount of unmarried young women in our society, and also to build a morally sound society where such vices as prostitution are not so welcomed and mainstream. 

Conclusion On Polygamy In Igbo Culture

In conclusion, it is important to note that polygamy is not for everyone. It is not every man. In the olden days of our forefathers, monogamy and polygamy were both practiced. Each man had a right to choose which was better for him. In some cases, a man can be encouraged o take more wives by his wife, his parents, or kinsmen, depending on his fortunes as regards childbirth, and wealth. 

What the modern Igbo society must do, is revive the practice of polygamy, and promote its merits, while also finding ways to make it better, for the sole purpose of forging a better Igbo society. Our ancestors didn’t make decisions for the betterment of an individual alone. Most laws and customs of the past were put in place for the benefit of the man, women, child, extended family, and the community at large. 

We must make our women shun selfishness and covetousness and see that polygamy is a unique culture, with its peculiarities and numerous benefits for Ndi Igbo. It will take time, but in the end, our society will be better off. 

This Piece Was Written By Chuka Nduneseokwu, Editor-In-Chief, Voice Of The Sun

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